Hello everyone... sorry for the lack of posts lately. I just have been having a rough time lately with family issues. But i wanted to tell all my loyal readers out there im moving to a new journal which can be found at http://milesorvana.greatestjournal.com/ . Hope to see you all there.

Becky-

I probably should have told you this a long time ago. But at the time I didn’t realize how important to me, to us this is. I know it may seem like such a while back when we shared our first kiss in Hot Topic, but at the time of the kiss I noticed something. When I shut my eyes and felt the warmth of your lips on mine something just felt right. It felt like I had kissed those lips before, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable like I did before. It is kind of hard to explain, it was like I had been with you for longer than the time we were together, it felt like somewhere I had known you for all my life. It felt like I escaped reality and entered this wonderful world were everything was at peace and I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t, I could truly be myself. Ever since we had shared that kiss, I felt like I wanted to be closer to you, and so for many times after that when we were together, I would try to kiss you multiple times and I know it must have been a little annoying because of that and I am sorry. The reason for this is because every time I felt the warmth of your lips on mine, every time I felt the warmth of your body laying against mine, every time I felt the warmth of your breath on my lips, I had felt like I had escaped reality once more and that we could be happy together forever and just lay there, me holding you in my arms kissing you. But once we head back inside where everyone is, I feel like I am kicked out of my happy little world and thrown back into the chaos that is reality. It is these reasons I fight for you, it is these reasons why someday we will live together in peace and quiet. It was your personality that attracted me to you that first day, and it is that amazing personality that still keeps me bound to you. I know we have shared our rough times, but it is typical for a couple to have that. It would almost be inhuman if we didn’t have some problems. So with that I just want you to know one thing: It may seem like I’m not there for you at times and I am sorry. But remember I am always with you in spirit and in heart no matter what. I love you so much, please don’t change.

I saw something like this is a friends blog so i thought i might as well do one as well. This is to all my beloved friends here, and if i didnt post your name, it isnt that your not my friend, it is just there people have been more active in my life currently.



Becky- Your always there for me when I need you, and I know sometimes I may not be there for you and I apologize. But I will be better I promise. Looking back on this year that i have been with you, it has been amazing and I have loved every minute of it. With your interesting sense of humor, and just how easily annoyed you are, it has made this year fun.But on a more serious topic, it is great to have someone i can actually sit down and have a decent conversation with and i love that about you. Be a Rebel forever, and Don't Change. I love you more than you know.

Dusty- With your sense of humor and your insanity, all these years I've known you have been a blast. A lot now more than before. Your just such a great person and you more of a brother to me. I usually never see you upset so that is a great plus, because I know your there if I ever need to talk to you. You're a very intelligent person as well so I can sit down and have a meaningful conversation as well if I'm in the mood.

Brandon- Well I kind of dreaded doing this one but… You're a good person, an amazing sense of humor and you usually cause me trouble by arguing with Becky, but what can I say it is fun. With both our combined insanity we wreak havoc here in Rockford, and I am not about to let that stop. Stay Metal my Brother.

Lisa- Well you have been a great friend and a good person to talk to. A lot more recently than before, but it still has been fun. I can't wait to play your horror movie villain!

Jenny- Well you have been an interesting person to hand out with, even though I can never have an intelligent conversation with because your a little slow. But that can be good, no offense but sometimes I need to get away from intelligent conversations.

Devin- You are like my third brother I wish I had, your intelligent, funny, and have an overall good sense of humor and I'm glad to see that. You are there If I need to have an intelligent conversation and/or some advice and i thank you for that.

Mums- What can is say, you are like my second mother. You are fun, have a good sense of humor, caring and just an overall cool mother. The fact that your there If I need you is great to know and I thank you for that…. *hugs* thanks for the good times mums…..PLEASE ADOPT ME!!!!

Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.

In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.

As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.

How it started:
I'd been living in London when my world turned upside down and I'd had to come home. By the time my plane landed back in Sydney, all I had left was a carry on bag full of clothes and a world of troubles. No one to welcome me back, no place to call home. I was a tourist in my hometown.

Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together, I wanted someone out there to be waiting for me. To be happy to see me. To smile at me. To hug me.

So I got some cardboard and a marker and made a sign. I found the busiest pedestrian intersection in the city and held that sign aloft, with the words "Free Hugs" on both sides.

And for 15 minutes, people just stared right through me. The first person who stopped, tapped me on the shoulder and told me how her dog had just died that morning. How that morning had been the one year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. How what she needed now, when she felt most alone in the world, was a hug. I got down on one knee, we put our arms around each other and when we parted, she was smiling.

Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven't compared. But to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time.

Why Did it get banned?

Public liability fear and red tape. But its all okay now! Make sure to check your local laws before embarking on your Hugathon!

http://www.freehugscampaign.org/index.php



This is very touching to me how one person can make a difference in the world and this proves it. The video is so touching it actually brought a tear to my eye.

Ive been playing this awsome game lately and i am so addicted. It is called shadowrun, and it is a first person shooter.It is based on an old RPG (role-playing game).

Hilarious video i found.... thought i must share...

Happy Birthday Becky! Hope you enjoy it, im not exactly the best at this stuff.

This is for a certain someone, you know who you are. Lately i geuss i really haven't shown you how much i love you. I have been alittle rude as well. But i heard a song that describes how much i love you...

Josh Turner- In my Dreams

Some men dream of crossing oceans
Some men dream one day to fly
Spend their whole lives floating on the water and the sky

Some men dream of building fortunes
Some men dream of having fame
Nothing else is more important then making money and a name

In my dreams, I see
A little sky blue house beside a small stream
A front porch, a screen door,
The sound of barefeet running and cartoons.
In my dream, your dreams come true

I come find you in your garden
Pulling weeds between the rose
Trade a kiss for a glass of water
Sit and watch what love can grow

In my dreams, I see
A little sky blue house beside a small stream
I front porch, a screen door,
The sound of barefeet running and cartoons.
In my dream, your dreams come true

In my dreams, your dreams
Are the only things that really matter to me
When you smile, i smile
What makes you happy makes me happy too
In my dreams, your dreams come true
In my dreams, your dreams come true

Hey peoples, not too much here... just excited for my buddy Bradon lately.

He tried out for the band Godsend Death and made it as there vocalist, and next month on May 19th him and his band are trying out to get a possible record deal with Roaring Records, so im pretty excited for him about that...

Mainly with me not too much going on, just been rather busy lately helping my parents out getting ready for spring.... *twitches* evil sunlight....

Well that is about all the randomness for now...

Peace out peoples

Mariyln Manson's ~if i was your vampire~

From Manson's new UNRELEASED Album

Well nothing much has been going on here lately, sorry bout the lack of posts lately but here are some pics from well last year and this year... Enjoy

( Pictures from... well all over )

Tagged by xxbellamuertexx


hmmm lets see, some of my weird habits....

1. I always think about what other people think of me.

2. I HAVE to have gum or a mint after EVERY meal

3. I always say im gonna do something but never do.

4. I usually feel that life is always working against me

5. Most of the time the smallest things can make me happy.

6. I usually take a problem that is small and make a huge "what if" about it

I watched a movie tonight that was amazing, it was based on true events with alittle fiction thrown in but this is the true part of the movie.

Bow hunting enthusiast Jack Hamberg, his eight-year old stepson Clint and former news cameraman Atticus Monroe were on a mission to make a deer hunting video,when they went missing. After one week of searching for the missing party only Clint was found clinging onto a fance. Jack and Atticus were never found. Some clame that they got lost and starved to death, but no bodies were ever found.

Fuck, im an idiot. It was such a serious subject and i was being fucking childish. I plan on digging a grave for it, six feet under for my stupid childish side. Noone can or should act childish when they are older. I feel so stupid now, im sorry.....

Far Away
By Patty Payne

You are far away, but you own my soul.
You have stolen my heart,
another love I could never know.
A part of me, you will always be.
Only your love can set me free.
Free from the loneliness and the pain.
Will we meet? Or is it all in vain?
I pray to my God above.
Please baby I need your love.
_____________________________________________
I count the hours till i can see your beautiful face again, and i pray that you will accept me again. But if not, it will be very hard for me to carry on, but i will support your decision. Please i just want you to think about this carefully but don't get stressed over this. I love you so much, please remember that.

I heard this song for the first time today and honestly it is one of the few country songs i like, i geuss in my own weird way i can relate to it. It is weird you know, the past few days ive been thinking. I feel like i need a new look, my current look isnt doing me any good. Im going nowhere fast and im dragging my friends and family with me.

"Feel no more the heat of the sun, nor the furious winter's rages
Now thy worldly task has done, home art gone and ta'en thy wages"

R.I.P ~Cassie~

This is dedicated so someone i didn't even really know. Someone that is close to me, her sister lost her best friend because of a car crash a few weeks ago and it is weird you know, i didn't even know this girl yet for about a week i felt depressed over her death. I mourned this person i didn't even know and i realized something. Death is a very serious thing, it can happen at any time, anywhere, to anyone. I always viewed death like i still have 50 or 60 more years to live, yet i am wrong. I have realized a great fear of mine, that every night im afraid to go to sleep because i fear i will not wake up. Myself im not in the best healthy state and that i why i fear, i fear i will have a heart attack while im sleeping and it scares the crap outta me, ive always had trouble sleeping and i figured out that this is why.... well that is it for this journal, from now on my journal's are gonna have meaning and not just be stupid song lyrics.

Your my lateest, greatest inspiration ~Teddy Pendagrass~

I've been so many places, I've seen so many things
But none quite so lovely as you
More beautiful than the Mona Lisa
Worth more than gold
And my eyes have the pleasure to behold

You're my latest and my greatest
My latest, my greatest inspiration

Things never looked clearer, peace within never felt nearer
My burden's gone, it's turned to a song
Tender as a baby's touch, I needed you, oh, so much
At last the load is so light

You're the latest and my greatest
My latest, my greatest inspiration

I plan to give you all that I have
I'll be everything, everything you think I am
You make life a joy to live
And I'm thankful, yes, I'm blessed just to know you

I've been so many places, I've seen so many things
But none quite so delectable as you
More beautiful than the Mona Lisa
Worth more than gold
And my eyes have the pleasure just to behold

You're my latest, tell you you're my greatest
My latest, my greatest inspiration
You inspire me, inspire me
Don't you know, my latest, my greatest inspiration

You keep just keep on liftin' me up now
(Higher) Mmm
(Higher) You inspire me, I want you to keep liftin' me up
(Higher)
(Higher)

I want you to keep on liftin' me up
(Higher) Alright
(Higher) Alright
See, you got me, you got me doin' things
(Higher) I've never done before
(Higher) See, you inspire me, you inspire me

Don't you know I love you, girl
(Higher) Hey, hey, hey
(Higher) Mmm, mmm, hmm
You, you, you, you keep on liftin' me
(Higher) Higher
(Higher) Higher

Higher, higher, you, you, you keep on liftin' me
(Higher) Higher
(Higher) Higher
Oh, oh
(Higher) You keep on liftin' me
(Higher) You keep on liftin' me
You know what you do to me

Come on keep on liftin' me



This is honestly how i feel about you, please remember that. this is just the song that describes how much i love you.

I was wrong, im sorry for what i said. Lately ive just been out of it i geuss. i didnt mean what i told you. that i was too immature. Lately ive noticed that i feel empty, that something in my life was missing, and i just realized that it is you.i geuss im not ready now but i will try to change for you.

just remember, no matter what happens i still love you.